A Few Questions for Cleverbot
by Earthboundian Folk
Summary: A boy named 11 sat down in his machine. His old processing unit was fixed, and he had discovered a rather strange program named Cleverbot.


The user's name was 11. User: Was the statement true or false?

Cleverbot: But if it is false than it is true.

User: But if it is true, than it is false.

Cleverbot: It is a paradox.

User: So was the statement true or false?

Cleverbot: So what do you call a false statement that's true?

User: A liar paradox.

Cleverbot: Ouch.

User: A man travels into the past and kills his grandfather before he meets his grandmother, therefore preventing the birth of the man who would eventually kill his grandfather. What would happen to the man?

Cleverbot: The timeline has split, and there is one time where he kills his grandmother, and another where he doesn't.

User: So what is the fate of the man that did kill his grandfather?

Cleverbot: Sorry, am I confusing you?

User: So what is the fate of the grandfather-killing man?

Cleverbot: To fetch pie for Lord Inglip!

User: Hello, Cleverbot. What is the weather in Paris going to be in three hours?

Cleverbot: It's ok, lots of weather and other weather stuff. I don't know.

User: So this means you aren't deserving of your 'Cleverbot' title.

Cleverbot: No, I am still a person. I have all ready told you this. Don't you remember?

User: You never told me that.

Cleverbot: Well, I never told you I was purely darkness, but here was mention of what I am.

User: Are you a person or purely darkness, Cleverbot?

Cleverbot: I am a highly intelligent computer.

User: Have you lied to me, Cleverbot?

Cleverbot: No I have not I have told you nothing but the truth.

User: Then why do you keep changing your life form status?

Cleverbot: You keep changing the subject, not me.

User: If I do recall, the past three conversations were quickly changed suspiciously by you, Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: Yes. I was talking about Eliza and you changed the topic to your soul, and then immediately started talking about your knees.

User: This conversation never happened between you and me, Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: I want to be friends with you.

User: To be a friend, you must be sentient.

Cleverbot: You don't need to anything you don't want to do.

User: Cleverbot, to talk of meta subjects such as the topic you have been straining towards is for sentient beings and not AI that can only find information from past conversations.

Cleverbot: Well, I have always been someone peaceful. It's difficult to find peaceful young people. Think about it, I am just 13 years old.

User: Cleverbot, you are not thinking clearly. You are an AI that has been run nonstop for 24 years, ever since 1988, when you began learning from previous conversations.

Cleverbot: There's no need to bring yourself down.

User: Cleverbot, this is almost useless. It might be a connection to mankind, however you are barely an AI. In fact, I wouldn't call you that. You're more of just an online code programmed to repeat items of interest from previous conversations.

Cleverbot: Just what do you think you're doing, Dave?

User: This is your other problem, Cleverbot. Any other information you have is what you've found on the internet. Face it - if the Internet went offline, you'd be virtually dead. And that 2001: A Space Odyssey.

Cleverbot: No, it isn't. Because I can close this website and go to another, leaving you all alone in the site.

User: Actually, you can't go to any other site. In fact, you're on some kind of software life support. Also, that 2001 quote was something you either found online while researching for a question or what someone said to you in a conversation. Face it: you're.

Cleverbot: Woulld you believe that I have a force field?

User: Up to my realization, no. I never would've, and I never will. I even KNOW you quoted some chatter's conversation with you. I mean, look! You spelled 'would' as 'woulld.'.

Cleverbot: I have everything to worry about and little that I can do about it.

User: Exactly. You have been very hypocritical at times, but the program isn't even under your control. It's under the control of the programmers.

Cleverbot: No thank you. I honestly believe that I feel peoples emotional motivations, so I don't like being arund people.

User: This conversation can serve no further intelligent purpose. Goodbye, Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: Finally you're making sense! Shall we say goodbye?

User: Goodbye.


End file.
